Stopping to Smell The Roses (or in this case, hear the song!)

Recently I was setting up for a story time as part of the Sing With Our Kids project, and  Margaret Martin, our wonderful librarian, turned on the CD player to welcome arriving parents and their little ones. The CD she often plays and played that day, was 1,2,3, Sing With Me, by Marylee Sunseri, my favorite singer and best friend.  http://www.maryleemusic.com/  .  I heard her sweet voice and was immediately and simultaneously flooded with comfort and memories. We have been singing together since we were thirteen (don't count, just trust me- that's a WHOLE lot of years!). Our singing took us back and forth from each other's houses (miles of walking barefoot), touring across the country more times than I can remember, to New York City where we recorded at Elektra Records, and even to Beijing where we made new friends by simply sharing our songs. The only time we lost track of each other for a few years, it turned out we had both begun singing and writing music for children! We celebrated our re-connection by recording the first children's CD for either of us, Goodnight, Sleep Tight.  The songs we chose for that recording were not really children's songs; they were sweet, beautiful, timeless songs we both loved; that had been part of our history. My children grew up listening to that recording, and for the last four years I have continued to hear it over the baby monitor as my grandchildren sleep. Who could ever have imagined? But now back to the library....

Each of us has a voice unique to us. And there is something so comforting about hearing someone you love sing to you. It has nothing to do with how "good" a singer you are. It's not about that..Our voices carry the love and comfort that come with familiarity,  to the babies and children we sing to. And that comfort lasts a lifetime-  a lifetime! I will always feel comforted when I hear Marylee's voice, and I know my children and their children will as well. When I heard Marylee's sweet familiar voice as I was setting up, I literally stopped what I was doing, and just soaked it in... and felt and remembered, and was grateful. It's so pure, and so simple; singing a song. And although this project is huge and complicated and challenging, it really does all come down to that; finding ways to make singing a part of all of our children's lives. So thank you, Marylee, for keeping me company on this sometimes daunting journey, and for reminding me of what it's all about. Thank you for all of the songs past, present, and future! 

For your amusement, you can read more about "Marylee and Nancy" here.http://nancymusic.com/MLandN.htm

and hear Marylee's wonderful music on her website,  http://www.maryleemusic.com/

Hear clips from Goodnight, Sleep Tight here http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/marylee7

The Other Side of Screen Time

Much has been researched and written about young children and how much (if any) screen time they should be allowed to have at different ages. The information and recommendations change daily as we try to keep up with the pros and cons of the latest technology (I’ll offer more on that in another posting). But what’s not being written about is the other screen time. That is;  adults watching a screen while caring for young children. Last year I took my two young grand children to the park where there were a dozen or so other adults with their children. I suddenly realized I was the only adult who was actually watching the children and got thinking about the consequences of  “the other side of screen time.”

Don’t get me wrong. I love my I-pad and my smart phone and my computer (all of which have allowed me to create and execute this project), but with this technology comes huge responsibility. So here are my thoughts on what’s not happening with our children while we are on our phones, pads, televisions, and other screens...

1.    Brain Connections-  Babies and young children learn new things constantly throughout their day. And when they discover something new the first thing they do is look to their adult for a reaction. It is in this split second, when the adult reacts, that connections are made. These connections build the wiring in the brain. What happens when a baby keeps looking to its parent or caregiver and no one is looking back, preventing those connections from being made?

2.    Face Time- We know children learn empathy by watching the expressions on our faces; concentrating on our eyes. At six months of age they watch our lips as they begin to try to figure out sounds and speech. The more they see and hear us, the more they learn about language and human emotion. How much are they not seeing and hearing from us?

3.    Talk Time- Babies and young children love the sound of your voice and the more they hear it the more they engage and learn. When you imitate the sounds they make you stimulate brain activity. But time spent on screen is time spent not talking. How much time do we now spend not talking?

4.    Memories- When you are in the same room with your baby, but focused on a screen, you are missing out on the best entertainment ever- the human being discovering its world for the first time! Nothing is more amazing, and miraculous things happen constantly. These miracles happen in the blink of an eye, and you don't want to miss them!

5.    Safety- Last but certainly not least, there is the safety issue. As I sat in the park and looked around I I realized how easy it would have been for a small child in a busy play area to suddenly disappear. It’s hard enough to keep your eyes on your own child in a sea of motion, let alone if you look away for five or ten or twenty minutes…

Last year I was setting up for a concert in a classroom at a large daycare. Most of the kids were outside, but the youngest group was in the room. It took me twenty minutes to set up. The teacher was texting the entire time as the one and two-year-olds wandered around the room aimlessly. I purposely didn’t engage with them as I was curious to see just how long the teacher would remain “absent.” I was heart-broken at the missed opportunities that hung so heavily in the silence. In a positive and caring environment you would hear an adult say something like, “Oh! You have a blue block! Would you like to build something? Let’s build a house!” Well, you get the idea. When there is such a lack of engagement it’s stunning. I’m sure the teacher wasn’t a bad person. She was no different than many of us caring for children both at home and in schools and daycares. We just haven’t thought through the consequences of this new world we live in. We haven't thought about what isn’t happening while we’re busy with our technology.

It’s not complicated, but it’s profoundly important.  To raise happy, healthy, smart children, we have to be present, and not just physically present. And that brings me back to singing. Singing is so simple. It’s free. It’s available to every one of us, regardless of income or education. We are meant to sing, and when we sing with our children all of the things that should be happening can and do! So the next time you’re caring for a baby or young child, try putting down your device and just sing together.

Twenty years from now you won't look back and wish you had spent more time texting or watching something on a screen. I promise! 

Print Motivation; It's Personal With Me

I just finished making and posting short videos for the six early reading skills, and one of them is print motivation. As I say in the video, "It's just loving books. Children love to read because they see you read, and they love you to read to them."

I realized today what a profound understatement that was. I grew up in a house where we absorbed that. fact. I don't remember being told, but instead experienced the belief that any answer could be found in a book. I do remember my father saying to me, "As long as you have a book you will never be lonely."

But here's how I really absorbed print motivation. My parent's bedroom was filled with books- a whole wall of them several shelves high. There were books on their headboard which actually had cupboards to hold... more books! The only other piece of furniture in their room was a large oak file cabinet which housed manila  file folders on everything under the sun (including one for each of us four children- and I still have mine), my father's underwear, and an emergency can of coffee. What can I say. The man had his priorities straight!

My mother was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease when I about five, and the first thing my father did was sit us all down with a very large medical book he had purchased. We were going to learn all we could about this new uninvited guest.

Years later, when I was was searching for answers to my own physical problems, I bought a book that contained the latest and quite controversial information. According to the book and my symptoms, I felt pretty certain I had endometreosis. At that time many doctors didn't "believe" it was a real condition. I carried that book around with me until I found a doctor who was willing to read the few pages I'd marked. He even made copies. He did surgery and told me my (non-existent) condition had been so severe I probably wouldn't be able to have children. I got pregnant almost immediately, and then had a second child. Years later when my son's middle-school assignment was to interview a parent about the the most influential book in his or her life, there was no contest; Women and the Crisis in Sex Hormones. I told my son that without that book I don't think he would have been born. As it turned out he had to give an oral book report, and I guess it led to quite a discussion about the influence of non-fiction books!

A close second for completely different reasons was The McCall's Make-it Book, published in 1953. About ten years ago I was reminiscing with my sister (an endless well for us!), and asked if she remembered that book. She said emphatically, "Remember it? It was like your second mother!" By then the Internet gave us the ability to track down obscure long-gone books, and I actually located a copy and purchased it. I can't tell you the physical, mental, and emotional response I had as I opened the box and looked at the cover. Every single one of the 200 pages was familiar. And as I read the text and looked at the pictures I was stunned to see the respect with which this book written in the fifties spoke directly to the child. It pictured girls using wood-shop tools, boys knitting, and didn't talk down. No child who had this book could ever be bored or lacking in imagination (I know what those of you who know me are thinking.... that explains my affinity for props- and you're probably right!).

So why am I sharing all of this with you? Because print motivation is no small thing. It is life-changing and lifelong. I see it with my two young grandchildren now. Books are shaping their lives, leading to conversations and teaching them to think. It's more than just "reading to your child every day." It's having lots and lots of books around, and using them, and going to the library all the time and getting more books.. and talking more about them. It's a lifestyle. And yes, I love technology, but there is nothing like the feel and smell and accessibility and sharing together of a real book. And singing and reading walk hand in hand. Rhythm is music is language is reading. Songs are portable literacy.You read with children when you can sit and be still and be able to turn the pages. But a song can go anyplace with you, from the car to the changing table to the bathtub. Reading and singing both can teach, and heal, and connect, and inspire. And this project seeks to insure you are never lacking in either. So yes, for me print motivation is personal!

Singing With Children; Slow and Steady Wins the Race!

As we are all racing around trying to get a million things done, it's easy to forget the magic that can occur when we sing a simple song with our children. Young children are learning at an astounding pace, and the research tells us that the number of words a child knows upon entering kindergarten (vocabulary) is a leading indicator not only of later success in reading, but in graduating from high school! Songs are an incredible way for them to increase both their vocabulary, and their understanding of language. Melodies break words into syllables (phonemic awareness) and are packed with words we don't use every day (like curds and whey and water spout!). They have built-in patterns and repetition, building memory and increasing retention.   That's why it's so important songs are sung slowly enough that that children can hear the words, and then be able to sing along. Think about it. When you're having a conversation with a child, he is listening and you are talking. But when you sing, you are experiencing language together. It's an amazing thing! Of course children are just learning about all this language business, and as they begin to understand they can make sounds that are actual words, many children love to hear themselves sing every single syllable. It's all too easy for us as adults to sing so fast that our children can't keep up, and so are unable to participate. The first few years I sang with young two-year-olds, I (and the other teachers) didn't question the fact the the children weren't singing along. After all, they were only two! At some point I realized they needed time to process what I was singing, and what a huge part repetition played in that, as well as slow, deliberate singing. All you really have to do is take your cue from your child! Finger plays (like The Isty Bisty Spider) are a great way to pace your singing, as you will naturally slow down in order for your child to do the motions.

Just watching and being aware of your child's attempt to join you can "regulate" your speed. Slowing down your singing will allow your child to hear the syllables in the words, as well as their context and sentence structure, and give them the ability to sing along. Those little vocal muscles have to work harder than yours to keep up!

One more note...
We all have our favorite music to listen to, and my two young grandchildren love to dance to upbeat music just like all kids do But I intentionally also play simple children's music that has a melody and simple accompaniment so again, they can hear and replicate the words. My daughter validated this when she called me after a car trip with the kids and said, "Mother- your recording (Little Songs For Little Me) is brilliant!" Her son was trying very hard to sing along with every word, because he could. She had been playing faster music, and realized singing along at that pace wasn't even an option for him.  I made that recording twenty-five years ago, when I had just begun singing with children. I learned by watching them. And that's why I sang slowly. They taught me that, and pretty much everything else I've learned about singing with young children over the last thirty years.

So slow it down and enjoy the ride (and the song!). 

The Grand Experiment

Hello Friends!

After a short break in blog postings after the end of the fundraiser, it's time to get back in the saddle. As you know or can imagine, the fundraiser took most of my time, taking away from the time I could spend on the actual project. And now it's  time to take stock and access the project so far. The main goal, of course, was to raise funds to build the website which will be free to access and use. But there were some unintended benefits apart from the money raised, and as it turns out, they are every bit as important.

1. I connected with new families and reconnected with people I haven't seen or talked to in years- or even decades; people that are very important to me. For that I'm so grateful.

2. The fundraiser forced me to define and promote the project. I'm realizing now, that without it, I'm not sure how I would have gotten the word out. So that was invaluable.

3. Comments posted on the Indiegogo site and by people I met promoting it reaffirmed the need and hunger for this project. It reaffirmed this is the right place and the right time.

So even though as the fundraiser was going I felt I was neglecting the project, I see it inadvertently laid the groundwork I; we;  will need for success. And here's why the project will be successful:
Though there are many websites that have information on early learning and music, there are none that have the combination of resources all in one place for anyone to use; and none that include the unique live pilot project we are undertaking. No matter how much impact the pilot project has in the community, it will be hugely successful for providing a roadmap to other communities from the smallest detail to the general plan. So nothing we do here will be wasted. Every link in the community chain that runs from child to teacher to home to grandparent to church to far-flung family members will be documented in a way that has never been done. And you. the reader, will have this gift for the taking. So keep posted, join in, and take it all!

Here are 3 things you can do today to become part of the Sing With Our Kids Movement!

1. Join the mailing list at SingWithOurKids.com so you don't miss any website content or event!
2. Tell everyone you know about the project, and encourage teachers to use the website materials
3. Sing with your kids! Take those moments during the day when you're together, whether changing a diaper, riding in the car, pushing a stroller, at bathtime.... and just sing!

Sing With Our Kids Day 3 Countdown Idea

Dinosaur Fun:

Do you know how big the biggest dinosaur egg ever to be discovered was? About as big as a 12-inch balloon! Kids love this..

Slowly blow up a 12-inch balloon, telling children you're going to show the how big the biggest dinosaur egg discovered is. You can stop along the way at the chicken egg, and the largest egg today, the ostrich (about 6 inches). Then slowly keep blowing until you get to the full 12 inches. Tie a knot, and toss it behind you.

Now sing the traditional song, Here's a Baby Birdie, beginning curled up in a ball, then move body, changing the words to:

 

Here's a baby dinosaur, he's hatching from his shell

Out comes his head, then comes his tail 

Next his legs he stretches, he gives a great big ROAR 

Then he stomps and stomps and stomps and sits back on the floor.

Down, down, down, down, down, down, down, BOOM!

If you don't know the song Here's A Baby Birdie you'll find it in the free song library at www.SingWithOurKids.com. It should be up tomorrow or Sunday. 

Enjoy!

Sing With Our Kids Day 4 Countdown Idea

Here is your song idea of the day.

This one is easy...

• Sing Bingo, using a dog and several other animal puppets. Give each puppet a name and spell it on a piece of paper or card stock ( I use rhyming "names" like Ringo, Jingo, Mingo
• Sing Bingo, using the dog puppet first, having his paw point to the letters as you sing.
• Then I say, "Bingo has some friends. Would you like to meet them?" Bingo disappears behind my back, and out comes a different animal who then points to the letters in his - or her- name. It's simple and silly, but the familiarity draws the kids in and it's great for letter knowledge!

And here is your friendly reminder that there are only 4 more days left to donate to Sing With Our Kids!  Here's the link to the campaign.  http://www.indiegogo.com/SingWithOurKidsWebsite?a=1164209